Foremost, I wanted to write this blog quite a few weeks ago when Fabian and I announced that I was pregnant with twins at (that stage) I was 16 weeks. Since then, we have had literally thousands of messages, texts, tweets, comments, likes, tags and calls congratulating, warning and making fun of us (being very busy with twins – all in good jest). It truly was overwhelming! Maybe this was just the start of the preparation of Pregnancy…
I WISH I had this blog to reference all the questions, and to answer some of the bigger ones, simply because of the volume of them that all came at once. Although I have never been pregnant before, what I am told is there is a vast difference with single and twin pregnancies, and there are a lot ore questions asked. I decided to answer a few of these here, with more to come.
: Pregnancy Questions 101 :
Welcome to the land of everyone’s business! Ha, truly, your life is now an open book, so you might want to learn to go with is as much as you can.
I choose to wholeheartedly believe that people have good intentions, but I guess thats the naive part of me that likes to think that life is all sunshine and rainbows, but its also how I am. Truthfully, I believe that the questions people ask are genuinely because they care. I don’t believe everyone has good intentions when asking you about YOUR pregnancy and YOUR body, but it feels as though often the questions are common and are seen socially acceptable to ask.. well, some of them!
Secondly, remember you don’t actually have to tell anyone anything you don’t want to, but although I wouldn’t recommend lying, it would be a good idea to be on the same page as your partner as the story and to what detail you both might want to reveal. It is all SO personal – its your body!
I wanted to share the majority of questions and provide as many answers as I can here, not only to help my sanity (I have had this conversation at least 100 or so times already) as well as potentially help others whom might be going through the same thing. I’ll start with the most popular:
Was It Planned?
If you ask your parents if you were planned or not, they might say yes or you might have been a surprise. However, the detail in which ‘planning’ a pregnancy goes to, greatly differs between now and 30 or so years ago. Back in your folks day, ‘planning’ is often perceived as not using any forms of contraception and simply going for it, so to speak. This was the traditional ‘planned’ baby-making regime.
These days, society has a different perspective is a little more detailed and complex.
Ovulation. We know a lot more about ovulation these days then ever before. We understand that in a general 28-day cycle, ovulation usually happens on about day 15. This is when you have the highest OCG levels and are most fertile to fall pregnant. You can time your baby-making skills accordingly, and this becomes ‘planned’ more than without doing so.
IVF. IVF is another form of ‘planned’ pregnancy in 2017 – generally, hormones are taken into the female and sperm is implanted into the egg and voila. Baby maker! Not entirely accurate, as lots of couples have troubles getting pregnant with either of these methods, however, its another way to somewhat plan a pregnancy.
Hormonal Help. There are a few handy little pills on the market available for those who by textbook standards ‘shouldn’t’ have problems falling naturally, but can be helped by taking hormonal pills. Basically, they increase the fertility of the female to produce more eggs, thus doubling chances of having one or even two babies at once. This isn’t taken by people who don’t want to fall pregnant, hence falling into the ‘planned’ category.
Pregnancy can be calculated and quickly become very unromantic, and often there is a lot of pressure placed upon couples trying to conceive.
For Fabian and I, our plan was for me to fall pregnant before I was 30 years of age (I am 28 years old) – we were happy to fall any time after my 27th Birthday (August, 2015). As I had Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovaries, it was basically a relaxed three-year plan to see if I could fall naturally, and work with what we could while we were ‘young.’ I was previously on the pill (Levlin ED) for 10 years, so was happy with the time frame it took to fall after being on it for so long, but was also told when I was diagnosed at 19 years old, that I might not ever be able to have children at all. It was a little mental game, but I wanted to be realistic with myself and my abilities, which I thought was reasonable.
I had been tracking my periods (which is extremely handy when you like to be prepared after not taking a pill every day for 10 years) on an app called ‘Ovia Fertility’ – you can track your periods, ovulation cycles, when you had sex and everything else from feelings to your how your cervix felt today.. Yes, it can be very detailed and full on, but I wanted to be fairly relaxed and casual, and not put too much pressure on it, so I never really tracked more than the basics. We had never planned sex during an ovulation cycle, but I had always checked after and logged it. Turns out, we had had intercourse four times in the year and a half prior once or twice during the 24-48 hour ovulation period and not fallen pregnant before!
SO, was our pregnancy planned? Yes, but in an old-school kind of way. Was it natural? Yes. Was it calculated and a chore? No.
How Did You Find Out You Were Pregnant And How Did You Tell Fabian?
Ironically, we were in Melbourne for the Grand Prix, and on the Saturday morning I went for a walk with my girlfriend Cara and her six month old Frankie. Long story short, we got chatting and I asked how she found out and she was late on her period. It got me thinking about mine and when it was due – turns out I was 10 days late.. whoops! I totally forgot!
The next morning, I went to breakfast solo, ate, headed to the chemist and picked up some little white sticks. I followed the instructions, set my phone timer for three minutes and voila. There were two little blue lines.. Casual Sunday! I had spoken to Fabian the night before, and (of course) had googled a few symptoms – sore boobs, tiredness, no period, bloating) and he didn’t seem really to notice much (lol). As he was racing, I didn’t want to distract him (he had to win the points for that day and he didn’t need any more pressure than bringing home the first Australian DJR Team Penske win..) so I called my girlfriend Steph.
Cue ALL the emotions – poor Steph! She was so excited, it was so nice! And my girlfriend Sam was due to pick me up in half an hour, so I told her when she came to my hotel why I wasn’t ready (it was a good excuse!) and she came in and we hugged and cried and laughed and danced!! It was incredibly overwhelming and emotional as you could expect! We then headed to the track, and like all good fairytales, Fabian won the weekend and was on the top step of the podium. As he returned to pitlane for our team photo, I gave him a big hug and kiss as I whispered in his ear, and I think he was in a little shock.
How Did You Find Out It Was Twins?
This was a fun day! Fabian and I were 5w4d when we found out we were pregnant, assuming it was a single pregnancy (the thought of twins hadn’t even crossed our mind). We found out at the ultrasound at 7w. During the scan, I noticed there were two little black cells in the images, and innocently asked the sonographer, ‘is there two?’ to which she casually replied, ‘yeah, do twins run in your family?’
How do you come back from that?? I swore, cried and laughed all at the same time, and it wasn’t until about a minute later that I had realised Fabian hadn’t said anything. I asked him if he had heard what she had said, to which I received a shy and squeaky ‘yes!’ from the corner. You could have knocked us both over with the wind of a feather. Lucky I was laying down and Fabian sitting!!
Do You Know The Sex?
No. We aren’t planning to find out until our baby shower / gender reveal, in late August. Although, my OB knows, but wont tell! Funnily enough, when we have an ultrasound, the sonographer will refer to each baby as ‘It’ and ‘Baby” and has apologised for it! She says, often people try to catch her out with finding out sexes, but she is very witty and won’t be tricked!
How Did You Confirm You Were Pregnant?
Firstly, you can perform the old ‘pee-on-the-stick’ format, which is usually 99.9% accurate (I have heard many women use a whole box for accuracy!). Once you are convinced, you should book into your doctor for a blood test and if the results come back positive, you can then book in for an ultrasound. This will be the first physical evidence you can see of your baby (babies!) and thats how you are finally confirmed as pregnant. All of this was how we confirmed my pregnancy. All fairly routine, I believe.
Were You Trying / Was It A Surprise?
This is one of those ‘probably none of your business’ questions, for various reasons, as I feel its a little private. On the other hand though, I appreciate where it is coming from (with genuine care, of course). I am really happy to answer it, as a yes/no answer, but as above, a little more of an old school type of way.
Did You Fall Pregnant Via IVF?
No, all natural.
This is again one of those award questions, and to be honest, I didn’t even think as to why people would ask it until a few weeks after I told a girlfriend of mine. She responded, ‘but you don’t know why they are asking – maybe they are trying to get pregnant too?’
I guess with twins, people assume that its via IVF. Its a lot more common these days! Factually, one in every 64 births are multiples (twins or more) so its a little more common than you think. With the increase of IVF, I can only assume that this will also become more common in the future.
If you are about to tell your friends and family that you are pregnant, just be prepared for the many, many questions that come with it. It truly is an incredible thing to be pregnant, and even more of a blessing to be carrying twins. I hope this helps in your journey too!
What questions did you get asked in your pregnancy? Let me know in the comments below!